Listen to the Graduates

Graduation season is an exciting time of year for high-school students ready to start a new chapter in their lives and college students who are ready to begin their professional lives. When I taught at Fayetteville-Manlius, I remember one Friday night graduation and my teaching colleagues and friends all went out to get a bite to eat afterwards. My wife Susan, who is not a teacher, remarked how wistful we all were on graduation night. She finally said to us, “When are you going to admit you’re going to miss the kids!” It is part of the deal as an educator and even though you will see many of them again, it is not at this poignant moment of their lives. As family members, it is even more powerful. We are all tempted to try to keep teaching them even though they are ready to take on what they are ready to face in the future. 

As someone who graduated in high school and college in The Breakfast Club era, it is tempting to drop all of our thoughts on these newly graduated students. While I may have some advice based on my years in education and in the business world, it’s important to take the time to ask questions and listen to their answers. David Bowie’s wisdom from his song Changes still holds true, “they are quite aware of what they are going through.”  The world was very different when I graduated and it is important to be interested in their reality before providing advice. They are coming of age in the aftermath of a pandemic, division in our country, international conflict, and economic uncertainty. There is some skepticism about the wisdom of the people who created the world in which they are entering. Let’s keep this in mind before advising them what they should do or not do as it pertains to their future. When you truly care about their present situation, they will be open to and welcome your advice. 

In our work at Daneli, the students from numerous districts have shared with us what they want in society as adults. In general, they want more cooperativeness in the world and less divisiveness. They want to be respected as individuals and having their points of view taken seriously. Finally, they want to see a direct correlation between what they are required to do in life and how it leads to their personal and professional success. Their adulthood has been postponed for some time and they are ready to take on the challenges they are going to face. They certainly have some anxiety about the uncertainty of what is coming next in their lives. Many of my big life questions have already been answered, my wife, family, career, where I chose to live. Of course they are anxious about their future because they are entering the unknown!  It is important that they realize that none of us have ever done anything in their life that they are proud of that they weren’t nervous before they did it. It is a prerequisite for success!

They have all earned their rightful place at the “grown-ups table.” We will all be enlightened by their new perspectives, unique observations, energy and enthusiasm that comes with youth and a fresh start in the world. It is going to be a great time for us all to learn. 

I wish all the graduates the best of luck, although luck has nothing to do with it!